6 ways to help your kids move

This is the third house my oldest two children will leave and the second for my youngest. While there is some excitement with each move, sometimes children can also be nervous about a new move. There are a few things that I’ve learned along the way to help the kids during this process.

1. Tell the kids as soon as you possibly can.

Kids like to be the first to know everything. In our case, we both needed to tell our kids that we might move and also that we were moving. Some families can skip over the might-stage right to the we-are-moving stage due to their own circumstances, but since my husband had to announce that we might move to our congregation, we needed to tell the kids both. My kids were very curious about the potential new area. They went straight to the bookshelf to pull out an atlas and a book of National Parks. They wanted to know where this place was and what neat things were nearby. We took a trip to the library the next week and they picked out books about the new state and spent the rest of the week telling us interesting facts.

2. Give them information to look forward to.

Once your kids know that you are moving, it is important to help them see the excitement of the new place. If you can visit the new area, pick up brochures and pamphlets about the state, city, and surrounding area. If your child is interested in something, see if you can help them see that they can do that there as well. One of our children loves cold weather. It is his dream to live in Alaska. We told him how our new state has four seasons and we will get some winter weather there. Our oldest loves to swim and enjoyed being on a swim team this year. We told her that our new town has a swim team. Our youngest wants to make sure that her stuff gets to the new house, and that brings me to my next point.

3. Reassure them that their favorite belongings will be coming with you.

It is inevitable that you will find some junk in your house that will not make the trip with you, but reassure your children that their favorite things will be coming, their special stuffed animal, blanket, toy. Small children might not understand what goes and what does not. If you have a swing set or something like that that can not go with you, explain that that stays with the current home, but follow this up with something positive about the new home (maybe a new swing set or a new park in the town).

4. Tell them where home is before you even move.

This is one that isn’t as obvious, but as you pack your belongings away, your children will start feeling a bit anxious. If they ask, tell them, “We will get it out when we get home.” Yes, you can call your new house ‘home’ before you even get there. They know you are moving, they understand that there are two homes, but calling the new place home helps your children make a mental connection that the new place will be home. This is especially helpful if your family is feeling some anxiety or sadness about leaving. Reassuring your children that home is where the family is can be very beneficial.

5. Help them understand the new schedule as much as possible.

One change that will occur with our move is that the kids will not eat lunch with their dad at work like they currently do, but they will eat lunch with him at home sometimes when he comes home for lunch before heading back to work. We talked about how Dad will come home for lunch sometimes. This helps them see two things. First, it helps them see that there will be a new routine, and secondly, it reminds them of where the new home is because you called it home.

6. Remember that some children will mimic the emotions that they see in others.

When my kids came home from Grandma and Papa’s, we gathered them up to tell them that we were indeed moving. The eldest jumped up and down. The middle child smiled and said, “Yes!” The youngest, looked at the other two for a few seconds, then started jumping up and down. I remember moving as a kid once when no one else wanted to move. I looked at my sister and saw her tears, and I decided to be sad, too. It is normal for at least one child to mimic their siblings, but be aware that they might also be mimicking you. This is helpful to remember because you might need to act happier than you are if it is a hard move for you. That doesn’t mean that you have to hide missing things. My kids have asked me about missing some of my friends here, my favorite grocery store, a few places that we wanted to go visit, and things like that. I admit that I’ll miss them because that is a normal feeling. They want to be assured that it is okay to miss the people and places that they are leaving, too. It is also okay to be excited to see the new places and meet the new people. It is something that you can look forward to as a family. Be ready to offer comfort to kids along the way as they realize it is the last time they will see Eva or Crocket, the last time they will go down the big slide at the neighborhood park, or the last time they will get an HEB Buddy Buck from the grocery store. And grab those library books about your new home town and see what new things you will find.

Let the adventure begin!