My whole life I have heard people say to others "Oh, I'm so sorry that happened to you. God just has something better planned for you."
I cringe. I am weary from hearing these words.
Why? Does God have something better for us?
I'll answer those questions separately.
Why am I weary from hearing these words?
You can't promise me that my life will get better. You don't know what will happen next. I might get another job and wind up being sexually harassed by my boss. I might get another job and wind up getting laid off 2 months later. I might get another job and hate every minute of it. I might find another guy and he winds up not being great either. I might get into another situation just as bad as the first.
You don't know.
My mother might die. My daughter might get an incurable disease. My husband might loose his job. Then what? Then, I look back and remember that you told me "God has something better planned for you." Well, says my sinful self, if this is what God has planned, then I don't want this God.
The harm that can be caused by promising things that we don't have control over and don't know to be true can be great.
So, then, does God have something better for us?
We know that bad things happen. We also know that we are sinners. We also know that every bad thing that happens to us is NOT a direct result of our sin. Sometimes, people get sick. Sometimes lay-offs happen. These things happen because we live in a fallen world.
When you give things a ten year perspective, you can often see God working in the situation. Here is an example:
My dad was asked by his uncle to leave the family farm after he got his college degree. For the next two years, he searched for jobs, six hours away. There were none close to us, and he had to find something. He took the first full time job he could. (List of bad things: leaving the farm, living apart from family) Then, I got really sick. The doctor said I was fine. I got really, really sick (like a couple of more days and I wouldn't have made it sick). A new doctor diagnosed me and treated me and I got well. Through this we found a new doctor. (List of bad things: leaving farm, living apart from family, daughter gets sick, doctor misdiagnosed her) Then, my sister gets sick. The new doctor runs test after test after test. All the test come back fine. The doctor tells my parents that they can either continue running tests (it had been several months of them) or that it is possible that my sister has the same disease as this doctor's son and instead we can go to a specialist in Dallas and find out. He was right.
As you can see, the list of bad stuff gets pretty long. Looking back after ten years from the first bad thing though, one can see that God provided a way for us to find out what was the matter with my sister, working through things way in advance so that she could be provided for.
Can you always see how God works through things when you look back?
No I don't think so. I don't know why my sister is sick, for example. Some things happen simply because we live in a fallen world.
So what do we know?
We know from the third petition of the Lord's Prayer that God's will "is done even without our prayer, but we pray in this petition that it may be done among us also." (Explanation of Luther's Small Catechism) We know that "God's will is done when He breaks and hinders every evil plan and purpose of the devil, the world, and our sinful nature, which do not want us to hallow God's name or let His kingdom come; and when He strengthens and keeps us firm in His Word and faith until we die." (Explanation of Luther's Small Catechism) We can read about His will in John 6:40, "For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”
Ultimately the will of God is for us to have eternal life and resurrection on the last day.
THIS IS GOOD NEWS! This means that when bad things happen, we know that God has the most important thing taken care of! We have eternal life; we will rise on the last day!
So does God take care of us before we die and have this eternal life or are we left to fend for ourselves?
We are not left to fend for ourselves at all. We read in the Fourth Petition of the Lord's Prayer that "God certainly gives daily bread to everyone without our prayers, even to all evil people, but we pray in this petition that God would lead us to realize this and to receive our daily bread with thanksgiving." Daily bread is "everything that has to do with the support and needs of the body, such as food, clothing, shoes, house, home, land, animals, money, goods, a devout husband or wife, devout children, devout workers, devout and faithful rulers, good government, good weather, peace, health, self-control, good reputation, good friends, faithful neighbors, and the like." (Explanation of Luther's Small Catechism)
We can also look to the First Article of the Apostle's Creed where we learn that God takes care of me and all creatures. He gives us "food clothing, home and family, work and play, and all that I need from day to day."
Matthew 10:29-30 "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered."
From Scripture we learn that God does have something better for us, but this does not necessarily mean that we will see it this side of Heaven. We can remember that we have forgiveness, eternal life, salvation through Jesus. We can also remember that God loves and cares for us always, even when things here on earth are bad.
So what should we say to our friends when bad things happen?
It is just fine to tell your friends that their situation stinks. Living in a sinful, fallen world, there are many things that do stink.
God commands and invites us to pray to Him (Matthew 7:7-8 and 1Thessalonians 5:16-18). We should pray for our neighbors. We "should ask for everything that tends to the glory of God and to our own and our neighbor's welfare, both spiritual and bodily blessings." (Explanation of Luther's Small Catechism)
Instead of telling our friends that God will make their life better, tell them that you are sorry that the bad situation occurred, let them talk to you. Use your vocation as friend and neighbor to provide for them in their troubles (maybe an ear to hear, a meal to eat, etc.). And pray for them.
Luke 11:13 "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
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