Projection

It isn't easy being a mom.

Adults don't come with clean slates. This momma certainly didn't.

Sometimes it is easy to realize that I can project my own fears or insecurities on my children. For example, we walked past a small dog who was out. I asked Allyssa to peddle her bike faster. She asked me why, so I told her that I am frightened of little dogs. I told her that it was silly of me to be frightened. She agreed. "Mommy, if there is a little dog, I will just say, 'You aren't supposed to be here. There's a bike goin'.' " Such logic. Another example, I am scared of needles and shots. To try to help Allyssa not be fearful, I am very honest about what happens. I tell her that she is about to get one. I tell her that it will hurt. Then, I tell her that it will help her stay well. So far, so good. I hear that the fourth birthday is a doosey though.

Other times it is harder to convince yourself that your child is not you and does not respond to or need the same things that you do. Today was one of those days. Something occurred that Allyssa will never even be aware of, but I felt like I needed to "fix" it. The fact is that there is nothing that needs to be fixed. Nothing is wrong. She doesn't need that from me at all. In fact, if I responded to this matter in any way, the outcome would likely be negative for her. This isn't her battle. It shouldn't be mine either. She isn't a teenage girl, and I shouldn't think like I am.

Today, I'll work letting my little girl be three. It is a good thing that she is just the way she is. It shows how much her daddy loves her. Daddies make all the difference in the world to their little girls.